The Illusion of Being Nekkid
While I run, I observe the world around me and this is what I’ve learned: People frequently ignore the “pick up your dog’s poop” law; nannies don’t pay close attention to the children they’re overly-compensated to watch; some of the homeless prefer to wet themselves rather than walk 300 yards to the closest public bathroom; people who think they are famous are weirder than who who actually are; whatever construction companies use to clean the houses by the beach smells like cake batter; and tourists are idiots (well, I already knew that one).
This morning something shocked me and I mean my mouth fell open. About a block ahead of me I noticed a couple holding hands, shuffling down the sidewalk. They were older than dirt and completely naked. AUGH! I kept following not because I wanted a better look but because that was my route home. As I got closer I realized that they weren’t naked, just wearing flesh-colored track suits (a la Britney Spears at the 2000 VMA’s). So now I’ve got this visual that I don’t want which is entirely of my own making and while I think it’s kind of nifty that this couple dressed like the Bobsey Twins, would someone please tell me why the opted for flesh-colored outfits??? Blech! At that age do you REALLY want to draw attention to yourself?
My roommate, L, attends fashion school. She came home the other night completely grossed out and proceeded to tell me a disturbing story. A girl in one of her classes decided that hooker-wear would be appropriate to wear to school. Her outfit was centered around a very tight flesh-colored spaghetti strapped tank top without a bra. I won’t pretend to know everything about fashion but if it’s your job to dress the world, don’t you think you should start with yourself?
Do you think they didn’t realise their outfits looked like ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes?’ One cold morning, I was wearing a sand-coloured sweater when I put the rubbish out, and my neighbour though ‘What’s he doing without a shirt this weather?’ Then, he put his glasses on!
why would anyone who knows ANYTHING about fashion try to bring back the braless look?
Travel Rat: Again, you truly are hilarious.
LeMare: Due to her outfit, I question this girl’s mere presence in fashion school. If I had to guess, she’ll most likely make a name for herself in hooker wear.
Pammy: “I kept following not because I wanted a better look but because that was my route home. ”
Yeah, I’ve used that excuse before too.
Interestingly, I think I would love it if people occasionally were naked on the street. I really enjoyed going to nude beaches when I lived in California. The naked peeps were always so completely unattractive, usually overweight, always with really small appendages.
However, I cannot BEAR IT when I can see women’s nipples under their clothing. How do these two totally different thought patterns co-exist in my mind?
This isn’t quite the same as the flesh-colored twin outfits, but a 50-ish man at my former gym used to wear spandex pants with his T-shirt tucked into them…that really bothered me. He had a nice physique, but still.
Matt: Funny.
Pamajama: I don’t have a problem with nude beaches as they usually make me feel better about myself for the reasons you noted. It’s just that nudity has it’s place and walking on 4th Street isn’t it. I totally agree with you on the nipple issue. Every woman has this problem at one time or other but I can’t stand it when women do nothing about it and, in fact, enhance their nipples by not wearing a bra. Blech.
Allison: Gyms are quite possibly the best place to see horrific outfits and it doesn’t matter how hot your body is… bad gym outfits are just bad. At my last gym, there was a girl who wore a top that just covered her boobs and white LOW cut shorts or sweat pants every day and the kicker… no underwear. Every time she did a sit up or a squat, the guys in the gym just about passed out.
Never been a big fan of nudity for humans, except in a shower or a bath. Always feel the right apparel at the right time is always more attractive than nudity. Of course, the question than becomes can we all agree on what the “right clothing” is to wear for each of life’s occasions. Unfortunately, sometimes what people feel right wearing – or not wearing – clashes horribly with what we feel is appropriate for the circumstance. I guess fashion schools feel they have their arms around what the masses should wear, but most of the alleged “fashion” I’ve seen I wouldn’t be caught dead in. Then again, if I was dead I guess someone could dress me however they saw fit…or have me wear nothing at all.