Trouble is Afoot at the Circle K
DAY 1
Not much happened. Come on… we drove through Oklahoma and the Texas panhandle for most of the day. What happens in that part of the country besides cows tromping over fences? The day was pretty weirdo-free until we stopped at a truck stop Dairy Queen for dinner about 90 minutes west of Albuquerque. My first clue to the uniqueness of this establishment was an ENTIRE ROOM full of fireworks, which was about 5 feet from the cigarette display. This was followed by stuffed and mountain wildlife (jack-a-lopes, armadillos) dressed up like cowboys and pioneer women. The fellow at the DQ counter (should I be disturbed that I can purchase fireworks, stuffed animals, ponchos, lingerie and a hamburger at the same place?) looked just like Cleetus from The Simpsons. The overall store manager, while extremely helpful and happy, dipped into the sauce a little early… getting within 10 feet of her smelled like a brewery. I suppose I would, too, if I lived in Eric, NM.
DAY 2
The morning moved along without much effort and then we stopped in the armpit of Arizona for gas. I pulled in to the Circle K (I was the ONLY vehicle there) and despite driving that monster for 2 days, I was still not too sure about size and distance when making turns. I got a wee bit too close to the gas pump and the bar which stops people from hitting the gas pump… somehow I was able to wedge a back tire between the bar and the pump, stopping only a foot from crashing into it and thereby blowing up the Circle K. My brother got out and tried to give instructions, but the wind was so strong that we wound up screaming at each other: “Turn the wheel to the left!” “What?” “The left!” “I can’t!” “Just do it! The left, left left! Not the right. What are you doing?” “You do it!” “No, you’re driving. I don’t want to!” “Stop being a jerk and help me!” “YOU stop being a jerk. I am trying to help you! Turn the wheel to the left!” And on it went.
My newly-acquired GPS system proved to be both a blessing and a major annoyance. I’ve dubbed her “Lucy” so I can say “Talk to me, Luce”. My brother vacillated in his praise of Lucy and then screamed for her to shut up when she kept talking. Despite arguing with my system, we made it in relatively decent time, unloaded the truck, and promptly fell asleep. The next day we did the touristy things and toured the WB Studios… all in all, a successful adventure.
Hey, you could have dipped down a little further into Texas (San Angelo) to help rescue the kids from those freakish lying men in the polygamist compound.
I suppose I could have but I didn’t. I had my own experiences with freakish people on the road that were slightly less emotionally damaging.
The best lingerie comes from DQ. Gives new meaning to Hot Eats, Cool Treats.
I never want to have to move all my stuff again after moving to Houston. Sounds like we drove some of the same stretch of road, and your assessment of Albuquerque is the same as mine. I’m just bummed I missed that D.Q. I could swap your D.Q. story for a motel horror story.
Great tale, Pammy!
‘Road Trip Tales’ always make great stories … even if they’re the ‘One day, we’ll look back on this and laugh’ incidents.
Hey now, Arizona isn’t quite an armpit yet. If you would have come through, say, next month…then definitely. It’s actually a pretty nice to live. Which part did you drive through? That definitely makes a difference. Now…San Bernadino, CA is an armpit.
Having moved from Philly to Memphis and back within eight months, I had to laugh at this “on the road” diary. Some of the things you see when in unfamiliar territory, that local folks take for granted, just shows you what a big, wild, unique country this is. As for GPS systems with voices, if I ever drove a car that tried to speak other than making normal operational car sounds, I would disable that sucker before the end of its first sentence.
Glad you made it back safely. Your travelog made me miss traveling across the vast open spaces and all the high percentage of “off” people per square mile compared to the coasts. But, I guess we aren’t too normal here either. (-;
glad you guys made it ok and didn’t blow anything up. looking back, i’m glad i drove all those big trucks for gary back in the day b/c when i drove the penske out here to utah i didn’t have any problems at all manuvering it. when robert and i were in new mexico, we didn’t stop at DQ but we did almost run over a man trying to cross the interestate in the dark and i had to swerve the truck pretty hard so i wouldn’t hit him. i assume he was drunk or high or both but either way new mexico always has the best stories to tell.
After I got married my wife and I drove her car from San Diego to Florida. We also stopped in the armpit of Arizona, same place maybe? It was quite the menagerie, and after about 5 minutes there I started to get the creeps and told me wife that we had to leave. I pulled her out of the line at the DQ after I saw someone in back cooking and eating at the same time.
I still get the heebie-jeebies when I think about it.
Wow, that looked like fun. I haven’t thought of Circle Ks’ in years. We don’t have them here on the east coast. At least not where I am.
Um, we never had anything like that at the DQ of my high school employment. The best we could do is offer a deep freeze filled with Dilly Bars and ice cream cakes.
Matt: I’ve got a friend getting married in June. Rather than visiting Victoria’s Secret on her behalf, I think I’ll make my way back to the all-encompassing DQ.
Juli: Do share a motel story… what kind of people work at motels, anyway?
Travel Rat: Road trips are indeed the best, which is just one reason why I love taking them.
Teacher Carrie AZ: I don’t think Arizona is an armpit, but New Mexico sure is. I drove through Phoenix, which is actually a really cool place.
Sports: I love exploring and what one person finds normal, someone else may find horrifying. That’s why road trips are such a kick in the pants… you never know what you’ll see. And my GPS system is awesome but sometimes she really does piss me off.
Rebecca: People in DC normal? Ha!
Bluesuit: Too bad you weren’t with us… we could’ve had the mother of all burping contests.
LowDogg: I worked at KFC in high school and to this day, I won’t eat there. You really don’t want to know what they do to the chicken before they fry it. Trust me.
Billy: Is Atlanta considered east coast these days? Wasn’t that part of the confederacy?
Allison: Your DQ experience was severely lacking if it didn’t sell moccasins, tube tops, peyote, and ceramic chickens along side burgers and fries.