My Journey From Third-Wheel to Unicycle

My first two years in college were not successful ones… socially, that is.  Oh, I was successful (Dean’s List, TA, tutor, newspaper editor) but I retained my dork status from high school.  AKA: The guys didn’t exactly find me and my activities date-worthy.  While this was traumatizing at the time, I now look back and am grateful I didn’t flunk out because I spent too much time partying instead of studying.

One thing stuck with me, however, that I’ve never been able to shake… until now: my third-wheel status.  My friends and roommates were always skinny, pretty and popular; therefore I was the defacto fat and funny friend.  I knew all the guys on campus because they wanted to date my friends.  I was non-threatening and surprisingly funny and if they got in good with me, I’d no doubt set them up with my friends.  Since I wasn’t the girl they wanted to date, I became the third-wheel, the buffer, distraction or entertainment.  You know the type — you’ve employed one before because you either felt sorry for your friend or you were terrified to be alone with the person who asked you out.

Things got so bad that by the time I turned 21, I refused to be the third-wheel girl ever again.  Since that time I’ve turned down multiple (as in dozens and dozens) invitations to clubs, parties, and events because being the odd man out makes me feel like a huge tool.  There is an exception (or two) to every rule: me and married friends AND me and gay men.  I don’t know why these are the couples I can be myself around and not care that I’m alone, but they are.  Maybe it’s because these groups aren’t threatened by me and don’t feel as though I’m going to steal their partner (which is something I have NEVER done; except freshman year it turned out that my roommate and I were dating the same guy.  I was so angry that I stopped talking to both of them and then dated the guy’s best friend — who was waaaay better looking anyway).

Due to my decision, I’ve learned to be even more independent (which no doubt has continued to make me a ‘man repeller’).  I can’t tell you how many tourist sites, lectures, museums, stores, fairs, book readings, and rallies I have been to by myself.  I’ve had a ball!  I’ve had the opportunity to meet new people and witness amazing events by doing things alone.  But there are two things I haven’t been able to conquer: while I go to movies by myself all the time, I just can’t seem to go alone on a Friday or Saturday night; AND eating alone in a restaurant (the one with a waiter not a 16 year-old who asks, “Do you want fries with that?”). 

Tonight (or maybe tomorrow, depending on ticket sales) I will attend a showing of The Dark Knight.  By myself.  On “date night”.  And I will be just fine with that.  Really.  Because riding a unicycle takes more courage than a tricycle.