It’s Not That Difficult: How to Become a Member of a Live Studio Audience

We all now the intiment details of certain people’s lives (Ross and Rachel, Will and Grace, Kelso and Jackie, Fraiser and Lilith, etc.) and we feel as though they are as much a part of us as our siblings, social circle or body parts.  Or maybe I lack friends and cling to my own version of reality.  Maybe.  Since these characters play such a strong role in our day-to-day existence, it only makes sense that when given the opportunity to be part of a television studio audience, we snatch it up as it’s quite the Hollywood experience.

It’s not that difficult, either.  You don’t have to endure solicitations outside Mann’s Chinese Theatre to get on a list where some shady character with a mustache asks for your social.  You don’t have to stand outside Paramount Studios with 427 other hopefuls, only to be turned away after waiting for 6 hours.  Simply register with the Dynamic People Club, operated by Audiences Unlimited, for the opportunity to be a seat filler at an award show or as an audience member at some crap show that just got picked up by the network (as chances of you getting into a taping of a popular or #1 rated show without being in touch with the powers that be are pretty slim).

NOTE: Be aware that if you’re not local LA folk, you can’t plan your vacation around DPC as they send random emails throughout the month and usual only give a week’s notice.  If you’re looking for more of a sure thing, head on over to TV Tix.  Both DPC and TV Tix are totally legit as I’ve used both and never once had a problem.  Feel secure in using their services.

It gets better.  Not only do you have the opportunity to see a show before the rest of the world and its stars (who may or may not be A-listers), sometimes DPC even bribes people to attend tapings… with actual money.  In about 2 weeks, I should get a check for $15 because I sat in a COLD studio for almost 5 hours and “laughed” at Jay Mohr and Ed Begley, Jr. in the new comedy Gary Unmarried (Wednesdays at 8:30 pm — only on CBS). 

Things to remember:
1. You will be told to check in no later than 5 pm or else you won’t get in.  Total lie.  I’ve shown up an hour ahead of time and last night was almost 20 minutes late.  They usually open the doors an hour after the scheduled time, so don’t panic if you’re stuck in traffic or can’t find a  place to park… you’ll get in.

2. Security is serious about not allowing you to take in your cell phone.  In fact, studio security is much better than at the airport with the TSA.  So unless you’re crafty and can hide your cell phone in the bottom of a crap-filled purse (like me), you must give it to them to hold for the next few hours.  I take no comfort in this so leave your cell in the car.

3. The show dialogue may be funny the first time around but that’s not true after 17 more takes.  Too bad.  You’re being paid (albeit $15 which is barely $2 an hour) to sincerely laugh each and every time because you never know what take the director is going to use.  So fake it, but sincerely.

4. The best entertainment of the evening will be the warm up guy.  He’s usually a comedian who is extremely skilled with noises and immitations and can shoot off insultants with only the slightest provication.  Get in good with him and you may just win an iPod or tickets to the Laugh Factory.    

 

5. If you are told you will be fed dinner, don’t believe it.  Unless you are BFF with the director or a star which qualifies you with VIP status, you get nada.  You will always get chocolate, though, from the show staff but do NOT open it after the director says, “Action!” 

6. James Burrows rocks.  Seriously.  How many Emmys does he have?  If he’s the director / producer of the show you’re watching, chances are pretty good the show you’re watching might just make it out of pilot season and into the fall line up.

7. No matter what tabloid magazines say about an actress being fat, she’s actually the size of a Chinese Olympic gymnast.  Do not feel bad that you outweigh these people by 100 lbs. because I think they’re really cardboard cut outs.  Audience members are the only 3-D objects in the room.

Now go forth, make new fake friends, come to Hollywood and enrich your lives by being a part of theirs.