Demons and Horror Movies Don’t Scare Me… But This Sure Does
I know there are thousands of people who love scary/horror/slasher type movies or else there wouldn’t be a reason to release Saw VI. I’m not into the gore, torture, missing body parts, vomit, and strategically placed bikini tops. I think there are 50 billion other interesting things to watch (Anthony Bourdain comes to mind as do reruns of Laverne and Shirley).
There are, of course, exceptions to every rule and my first exception is Carrie.
Oddly enough, I first watched this movie with my mother when I was in middle school. It didn’t have a lingering affect of how horrible dating might be (AKA: rejection), or make me feel bad for being a weird outcast loser, force me to call my breasts “pillows”, or prompt me to say ‘No’ to Scott What’s-his-name when he asked me to the prom for fear of the gym exploding. It’s looking at my prom photos now that make me want to kill myself… I resembled a head of lettuce in that horrible, horrible green dress. That dress was truly frightening.
But what did Carrie really do to me? I was terrified of getting my period in public and the great humiliation that would surely follow. Guys: I’m sure that part of the movie didn’t even make a blip on your radar but at the time, I couldn’t think of anything worse. To this day I’m still paranoid about it.
My other great irrational fear is actually no longer irrational. About 18 months ago, I shared an experience with you that will no doubt the closest I will ever get to this fear… a fear that is only exacerbated by my inability to NOT watch Shark Week. You see, my fear is now justified. Yes, that’s right… I believe JAWS is the scariest movie out there because it could actually happen!
Don’t tell me I’m being paranoid because this time I’ve got proof… and not proof from the Insaneo’s Journal of Paranormal Activity. Real proof, boys and girls. Real. No Photoshop here.
What more proof do you need than this?
That, my friends, is a 10 ft. Great White Shark and it was BITTEN IN HALF by a “monster-sized” Great White Shark in Australia. This “monster” is only 5 ft. smaller than the one in Stephen Spielberg’s mind (which I believe was somewhere in the neighborhood of 25 ft). One of the words to described the attack was “maul.” Death by shark mauling. Now I could go the mall and die happy, so “death by malling” doesn’t sound all that bad but mauled to death by a monster-sized shark? I don’t think so.
According to another report, “Whale carcasses left to rot in southeast Queensland’s Moreton Bay could be attracting the monster shark.” Thankfully I believe their definition of “whale” most likely means a sea-faring creature and not how I describe myself in a bathing suit. Still doesn’t make me feel any better nor does it make me want to frolic in the ocean. Of course the closest body of water is the Potomac River and there’s no way I’m frolicking in that cesspool.
But the part that sticks in my crawl the most? Now I’m freaked out about my Australia trip. I’m not supposed to go for 3 1/2 years but still. Here’s hoping the bastard will be dead by then because if I’m going to meet my maker, the cause will not be “death by shark mauling.” Nu-uh.
Carrie was scary in the weird kind of way that everything King does is scary. Like he’s touching on things just under the surface of reality. Evil in the hearts of man (or teenage girl) and all of that.
For me, Jaws is the scariest movie ever. I’ve been surfing for years and have seen a large shark (hammerhead) twice. And I’ve seen countless small ones 3 or 4 feet. In Florida our house was right on the inter-coastal and we’d always see them swim under our dock at twilight. Australia is the killer shark capital of the world though. I plan on going….and I love to surf…but I don’t even know if I can surf there. Then again everything in Australia will kill you. They have like 15 of the worlds 20 deadliest spiders and snakes as well. I’ll just shut up now.
I would’ve had a stroke each and every time I saw a shark whether swimming next to me while I surfed or while I was eating dinner on my deck. Absolute stroke. Mostly because death (or mauling) by shark is completely preventable: they don’t wander onto the golden sand. As long as I stay out of the water there’s no way in hell I’m going to die. Well, maybe skin cancer will get me but JAWS certainly won’t. And thanks about the “everything in Australia will kill you” visual. Making trip plans that much more enjoyable.
Honestly, I’ve never seen Carrie. I should get around to it someday, but generally it seems less interesting than watching Young Frankenstein again. Because let’s face it, when is it NOT a good time to watch Young Frankenstein?
You’ve got me there. Young Frankenstein is one of the most hilarious movies… ever. “My grandfather’s work was doo doo!” “Are you making that ‘yummy’ sound?” But you really should see Carrie. Just once.
I’ve been trying for years to find this web site an Australian friend showed me probably 10 years ago about “Animals of Australia.” According to the site, there are three types of animals in Oz:
1) Weird (Huffington Post just did something on this last week; the weirdest ones were from Oz)
2) Poisonous (eeesh. Don’t remind me)
3) Sheep (sheep are cute I can handle sheep)
I’m still scrolling down to see a picture of you in your green prom dress. Of course I’m scrolling a little faster after seeing/reading about the shark attack on a shark. I wasn’t allowed to watch Jaws until I was older (ie, out of the house), but even as a small child I knew enough about it to fear the ocean… still do. I still fear the Jaws music! I have no desire to snorkel, dive, or surf. I will continue to spend my beach time on the beach – jumping the small waves that are usually no higher than my knees. I will go to Australia someday, but I’ll be spending my time looking at the ocean and not in it.
I like snorkeling in Hawaii. No sharks just pretty fish and a few pissed off eels. Everything eats frozen corn, not humans.
Carrie was scary when I saw it…I can remember Salem’s Lot being the scariest thing I have seen in my life. I must have been eight or nine when I saw it.
But Jaws has one of my favorite lines…just because of the timing… “You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”
I saw Salem’s Lot a few years ago and it was totally campy. I laughed throughout most of it. Then that night I had a horrible dream that some of my friends were run over by a Mack truck with a psychotic driver. Stephen King may look like a knuckle-dragging Jethro, but he’s one scary SOB.
“Jaws” has got to be one of my all time favorites. MTAE stole my favorite line. Roy Scheider delivered it so deadpan.
It is indeed a classic line. How big of a boat do you think the Australians are going to need?
Yeah, where’s the pic of the green prom dress? I remember it but I think your other readers may enjoy it as well.
Today isn’t “Horribly Embarrass Yourself With Old High School Prom Photos”. Sorry. And no… no one would enjoy them. Lynne wasn’t around to rat my hair and I didn’t do a very good job. No wonder that was the only date I had in high school.
I never saw Carrie, but I read it, and it was so disturbing. Shudder. I fear oceans in general. They are nice to look at, but full of things like Jaws, jellyfish, those ugly fish with the lantern heads, Atlantis, the Bermuda Triangle, pirates… seriously I don’t understand coastal living at all.
Oh, and the Mist. Don’t forget the Mist.
I read IT and was scared for quite some time of the color yellow. When the TV movie came out, I was thoroughly disappointed by the ending by its lameness. But Tim Curry was creepy as that evil clown.
As for oceans, I love them. I love boats, fish, the sea air, sand, waves, the loneliness… everything about oceans I love. Mist is kind of sexy and Johnny Depp is HOT. Why do you think I own Pirates of the Caribbean? But sharks? What was God’s purpose in making those? And jellyfish? And what about spiders… do they serve a purpose? I know they eat flies and other annoying bugs, but RAID kills those things too. I can do without the spiders.
Don’t worry about the sharks in Oz … the crocodiles have eaten most of them!
As in giant crocodiles? Is there a movie about this???
I remember watching Carrie on on TV alone while I had Tina on the phone…she was watching it too. It creeped me out – I think I was around 14 or so… still think it’s creepy! Never have seen Jaws in its entirety… and it’s on TV now and then. I still won’t watch it!
Remember when Psycho was on TV and we didn’t realize that K had gotten up and was watching it? Probably not the most appropriate thing for a 3 year-old to witness.
Pffft, I have been living in Oz for 31 years and I haven’t been bitten by a crocodile, snake, spider, scorpion, jelly-fish, dingo, shark, blue-ringer octopus or wasp.
Make sure you come to Perth!
I had some friends who lived in Perth for 3 years and one said she saw more poisonous snakes there than in the zoo. Other than that, no problems. And one more thing… I don’t believe a dingo ate that lady’s baby.
OOhh, let’s see. Movie with giant crocodiles?
There were one or two minor ones, but I don’t remember the titles.
What about ‘Lake Placid’? Weren’t there crocodiles in that? Or, am I thinking of something else?
Know what creeps me out about crocodiles? Their feet. Of course, feet in general creep me out.
Carrie is THE scariest movie I have seen and it still gives me night mares and I saw it about 15 yrs ago!!
You saw Carrie? Really? Why am I completely surprised that you saw this movie?
So I’ve gotta chime in here and say that neither you nor Lynne were in the house when K got up and saw part of Psycho. I don’t even know if you were in Arkansas at the time but mom and Lynne were in either Memphis or Dallas for the night and I was supposed to be watching him at the house. I had put him to bed and was watching Psycho with Dad in the front room when he woke up and came in during the shower scene.
As for Carrie, I think Sissy Spacek is a creepy looking lady all by herself – no need for a bucket of blood to be dumped on her. Definitely the perfect person to play the role.
Good call on Sissy Spacek. She’s definitely got some sort of vacant creepy look about her that just comes naturally.
I love love loved Carrie…it was super creepy and always reminded me to r-e-s-p-e-c-t the ladies for fear of a gym confliguration! As for Jaws I totally enjoyed that movie as well. It did make me more aware of the scary shit that swims in dark water
I beg of, if Jaws scared you, never ever..I repeat never see Orca: The Killer Whale…you will never look at a whale the same way again.
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3JRmVhLQGRM/Ro_wUdtY-VI/AAAAAAAAALo/uL4ecgUapWE/s320/v45601xinzr.jpg
just to give you an idea of what I’m talking about!!!!
Um, the poster itself doesn’t really frighten me. However, I went to Sea World a few years back and wondered what would happen if I fell into the Killer Whale tank. Now I no longer have to wonder.