Portrait of a Lady
Leave it to kids to tell you like it is. My boss has twin 6 year-old girls who really are a kick in the pants and couldn’t be more different. The girls came to the office today after visiting the National Portrait Gallery and decided to draw MY portrait.
I seem to be bald and wearing dangle earrings. I also appear tall and apparently she views me as someone with the body of an Ethiopian famine victim. This first portrait appears to resemble more of Picasso’s style as opposed to presenting me in a Rubenesue fashion. Is that a good thing? Would I rather be fleshy or have a sideways head, three eyes, and drink a milkshake with my nose? Good thing my name is right there (on the white board in the conference room, no less) so no one will mistake who I am.
In this next one, I suppose you should know that I’m wearing a black and white poka dot dress (straight out of Donna Reid’s closet circa 1957) and a pink cardigan sweater.
I have mini arms. I mean really… they’re just ever so slightly out of proportion to my body. Whenever I see someone with mini arms I know I shouldn’t look stare, but I can’t seem to help myself. I know I’m terrible. Don’t worry… my hair looks like something out of Star Wars because today I pulled it into a ponytail (not because I liked Princess Leia’s hair). My jaundice appearance can mean one of two things: 1) Since I didn’t get my flu shot, I’m getting sick and little eyes notice everything; OR 2) I’m wearing a bit more bronzer than necessary. And finally: three fingers people… and yet I’m able to accomplish so much.
Who thinks they can do better?
OMG! What does the picture on your passport or driving license look like?
Passport is actually almost expired but it’s nice. Pretty, almost. Driver’s license is another story. The state of Virginia (eventually all 50 states) is enacting new regulations which make it almost impossible for people to replicate them, which is good. The bad part? The photos are black and white, we’re not allowed to smile, and it’s a shot of your face… and that’s it. I lovingly call it my prison photo because it’s just that bad.
I think the fact that they chose to draw you meant that they thought you were really pretty and cooler than the other side of the pillow.
Uh… OK. Is that a phrase which doesn’t translate well from Spanish to English?
The first girl’s genius is far too advanced for me to decipher or comprehend. The second girl’s rendering of you speaks to me of the girl’s obvious infatuation with you…..her hero. She is clearly impressed with your sun-kissed skin, your sparkling red eyes and winning smile, and your avant guard hair style. Your dress is made of watermelon, the single greatest fruit to a child. I think she may have run out of time when it came to your arms, but no matter. To her, you represent sugar and spice and everything nice. You are clearly the epitome of all things beautiful!
That cracks me up because she’s the quiet twin… the one who really doesn’t talk to me. But now that I know I’m her hero, all that changes.
I think that you should be flattered nonetheless. That’s right about how six year olds draw but I would point out the second drawing shows far more attention to details that a kid would notice. I find it interesting that the first kid would draw you as a stick figure and the other would give you a formal body. Perhaps that speaks more to a difference in personality.
I’m totally flattered, don’t get me wrong. They drew pictures of ME! No FOR me but OF me. How fabulous is that? Although they’re twins, they are polar opposites in everything.
HAHA!! I just think they’re hilarious! I love the Mr. Potato Head look in the first pic and the T-Rex arms you’ve got going on in the second picture. Priceless.
That’s MS. Potato Head! Didn’t you notice the earrings? And T-Rex arms? Nice.
I was gonna say T-Rex arms, too.
What is with the T-Rex analogy?
I have a portrait of me hanging on my office door that my son drew a few years ago. I have a double-head, my glasses look like the Terminator’s shades…I also appear to be both barefoot and NOT wearing pants.
The not wearing pants part brings a whole other dimension to the table. Why? is the first question that comes to mind. Was the portrait a cross-breed of Picasso-Arnold-Donald Duck? You son may have invented a new art style!
I think the second one looks more like a lemon head stuck on a watermelon. The T-Rex thing is because those arms are totally useless appendages…you couldn’t even scratch your own cheek with those things.
You’ve got quite the imagination. And I think you might be hungry at the moment.
I teach the drawing portion of home school… and have seen about everything.
What’s the truth to psychology via art?
Three fingers? I didn’t notice that at first. I noticed your three eyelashes. : )
Am I sexy or what?
Hey girl,
Scott nominated you for a contest that takes place over at my blog today!!
Check it out!!!ANd VOTE