But that was then. Now there was an invitation for a ski trip to the Poconos extended for the long weekend. I had never been to the Poconos. I have been skiing… on “The Greatest Snow on Earth”, I might add. So the prospect of skiing on man-made snow wasn’t what tempted me to accept the invitation.

First off, while I have been skiing I really don’t like to ski. It’s expensive and if you stink (like I do), you tend to fall down. A lot. I fall down without having my feet trapped to slick pieces of plastic so already I’m wondering what the attraction to this trip was.

Did I mention I’m not a fan of being cold? Well, I’m not. In the winter I love nothing more than to put on sweat pants or my warm pajamas with furry socks as soon as I get home from work. Saturday’s high in Pennsylvania was 9 degrees with the wind chill factor it was 14 below. So the inability to ski and freezing temperatures. Again with the poor insight on “fun.”

So what was the draw for me? Was it the thought of sharing a room with a hard bed and a flat pillow with a snoring stranger? No, that wasn’t it. Or the crazy hours people kept: some went to bed at 3 am while others woke up at 6, and NONE were quiet about it? I’m pretty sure that just made me crabby. How about the never-ending backbiting between women who were jealous that one of the guys was flirting with someone who wasn’t them? Because that got old after 2 minutes.

The constant discussion of how Tim Tebow is a fantastic example of whatever to the world and that he’s the greatest quarterback of all time? Ugh. Women doing all the cooking and the cleaning while all the guys did was eat, belch and watch football and then the premier of the Napoleon Dynamite cartoon? You realize this is 2012 and not 1955, right?

On the plus side, let’s see: Hot tub? I can do that. Plethora of oranges, a variety of cheeses, and a 5 lb. bag of peanut M&Ms? Now we’re talking!

I suppose I went on the trip with ridiculous expectations of achieving high school sorority status. Over the past few years I’ve had several friends tell me that I’m not doing everything I should to be more social and to “get out there” in order to snag me a husband. So when the Poconos ski trip invitation came along, I thought if nothing else I could at least make some friends. I like having friends.

This weekend reinforced a few things I already knew but didn’t want to admit. I suppose I’m not a social creature and am more comfortable in a small and intimate group setting where I am the center of attention rather than awkwardly standing on the outside and being invisible. This trip also made me realize that vacationing is difficult with people you actually like, much less 14 strangers you want to kick.

I can’t believe I’m now that crabby old person I never wanted to become. Fantastic. I had such high expectations for myself in 2012 and being positive was on top of the list. So much for being perfect.

But the most important lesson of all: this trip taught me to always bring at least three trashy romance novels when going on a winter getaway. Those might be the only legitimate and satisfying entertainment you get in three days.

Flashback, 80s style

Ladies of the 80s

Big group of 80s groupies

The New Year started off with me pretending I was 14 years old again and loving every minute of it. And why not? I had all the grown up knowledge of my adult life without any of the adult worries, at least for a few hours. Plus… I was the best dressed woman at the joint! (my sister made my skirt… yes, she really is THAT awesome!!!)

The peeps and I headed to a crumbling and, perhaps, nearly condemned theatre to listen to The Legwarmers Tribute Band. I know, I know and laugh all you want but where else can you get a combination of Rick Springfield, AC/DC, Billy Idol, The Go-Gos, Bonnie Tyler, Duran Duran, Bon Jovi and all the other 80s greats? Plus I kind of had a 15-minute crush on the dude in the white pants.

The Legwarmers

But I finally made the decision to really have a crush on the chubby guy wearing the dangerously short shorts. You see, it’s all part of my new life plan. That’s right… I’m changing my life in 2012. Let’s discuss this plan, shall we?

First, I’m getting back together with Alex. We stopped seeing each other in March because, well, he’s a luxury. And in an era where we have to make painful fiscal decisions, I decided that I could live without him. I was right… but I also realized that my life is much better with him in it. Alex is the only man (aside from my hairdresser) who I’ve been able to be completely secure with all my morning grossness.

Me and Alex

I mean I’ve thrown up on him more than once and he still speaks to me. Of course I PAY him to spend time with me but still… life is better when he is in it and this year, Alex is going to help me lose 4% of my body fat. In fact, Alex is going to help me reach my ONE goal for 2012. That’s right… I only have ONE goal for this year. And that would require me to tell you a story:

I found myself at the gym on Monday morning and Tal, one of the trainers, said to me: “Pam… you’re in a really good mood today. What’s going on?”

“Well Tal, I’ve got a lot to do to accomplish my goal.”

“Which is???”

“Perfection.”

Never let it be said that I think small. What is included in perfection? Obviously I’m dropping my body fat so I’m working on my body. I’m also working on the whole ‘being positive’ thing, meaning the bitch has got to go. Now. As for the chubby guy in short shorts… When it comes to men, it’s all about changing your perspective and learning to be attracted to those you wouldn’t normally be attracted to (plus I think he’d be way more grateful and try harder). And you know what? It worked!

At the gym I was happy and open and I got asked out. Of course I was asked out by a gay couple but still… it was nice to be asked.

But now it’s Day 3 of 2012 and I’ve only been to the gym once and haven’t gotten back together with Alex because I’m sick and here I sit, wrapped in my new pajamas that are akin to wearing a Teddy Bear and popping ColdEase to ward off my dirty smoker’s voice. You see, two petri dishes of disease sat behind me on my flight from Dallas to DC on Saturday, hacking and sniffling and ne’er a tissue in sight. I knew today was coming.

Maybe my search for perfection can start later this week… when I’ve actually got a good attitude and don’t feel like the floor of a taxi cab. Here’s to perfection in 2012!

Just for fun

I look ridiculous but at least I'm warm

The girls

1. When in another person’s home (especially when visiting another culture), eat what they give you. You don’t know what kind of sacrifice went into the meal nor what someone had to give up so you could eat.

2. You can’t say you don’t like it until you try it. Creamed onions. YUK! But I only know that because I ate them. Tuna fish and egg salad combo rolled in a tortilla? Surprisingly tasty.

My favorite foods aren’t always “American.” PB&J? NASTY. Pumpkin Pie? Well, you all know my feelings about that. SHUDDER. I believe it was an early exposure to others cultures which helped shape my food pallette.

When living on Long Island, some of our close friends were a family of Italian and Argentinian descent. I remember eating a lot of spaghetti, meat and bread and washing it all down with Ginger Ale. Upon moving to Massachusetts, our next door neighbors fled Cuba during Batista’s regime. I remember donuts and while I don’t ever recall eating Ropa Vieja (and the translation of ‘dirty clothes’ doesn’t do this dish any favors), I tried it in Miami a few years ago and I’ve never looked back.

Can you go wrong with steak stewed in tomato sauce/paste, onions, garlic and green peppers for 10 hours? Well, if you’re a vegetarian or a vegan then I suppose you could but for the rest of us… this is one dish you need to try.

• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 2 pounds beef flank steak
• 1 cup beef broth
• 1 (8 ounce) can tomato sauce
• 1 small onion, sliced
• 1 green bell pepper, seeded and sliced into strips
• 2 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 tablespoon white vinegar

Directions

1. Heat vegetable oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Brown the flank steak on each side (about 4 minutes per side).

Brown both sides of the meat in vegetable oil

2. Dice the onion and garlic (HINT: to remove the smell of onion, garlic or even fish, then rubs sticks of celery between your hands). Slice peppers. Mix with beef broth and place in slow cooker/crock pot.

Chop all vegetables and mix with beef broth

5. Add tomato sauce and paste; stir in spices, olive oil and vinegar.

6. Transfer beef to a slow cooker/crock pot. Ensure tomato blend covers the meat.

EAT!!!

The perfect yum! Warm, sticks to your innards and tastes fantastic! Remember: You can’t say you don’t like it until you try it.

Seeing as I read a million and one news sites a day and The Daily Mail (because no one does tabloid trash like the Brits), you’d think there wouldn’t be any news stories that I skipped in 2011. But you would be wrong. No longer does an eccentric old woman living in New York City with 73 cats, a rattlesnake, 15 dogs, and four parrots shock the public (thank you Hoarders). That’s why this stuff is harder to find and easier to glaze over the truly horrifying and ridiculous.

Lucky you… I recently ran across a few stories I’d like to share. Maybe they’re old news to you but for me… you know how sometimes having a visual makes it that much worse? Well, you’re welcome.

1. Congress Names Pizza a Vegetable

WHAT??? How did this happen right under my nose without noticing it? I work two miles from the US Capitol Building and this didn’t come close to beeping on my radar!

Turns out that’s not the case. Apparently it’s a fight about tomato paste. Specifically, it’s a fight about how much of the product counts as one serving of vegetables. Seriously? Please… let’s waste time over THIS and ignore that the Highway Trust Fund is going to expire. Sheesh.

2. That lady who ate poop

Sometimes there is not enough yuk in the world.

3. The Toddlers & Tiaras prostitute costume

I DVR a decent amount of TV garbage (16 & Pregnant; Teen Mom; Teen Mom 2; Hoarders) but I have NEVER seen this show. The beauty pageant arena is one I never understood. I’ll admit that my high school had and continues to have a beauty contest every February (the winner receives the honor of being named ‘Yearbook Queen’) but it’s not an activity that has ever tempted me.

But here are women who dress their four year-olds up in enough make up for 17 grown women, cap their teeth, make them have larger hair than me in the 1980s, and now have them look like hookers? Sounds like not only quality programming but quality parenting.

4. Pointy Boots… REALLY Pointy Boots

I will admit that I participated in some horrendous fads in my day (big hair, blue eye shadow and shoulder pads come to mind) but this is one fad I really don’t understand. Not in the least bit. Maybe if I was an elf. Maybe. And then maybe not even then. I hope none of them are in a room when someone shouts, “Fire!”

5. Nipple Foot

I won’t even pretend that I did well in science class. Actually, I kicked everyone’s trash in my college cosmos/astronomy course and did OK in botany. Unfortunately I set a number of things on fire and was responsible for many broken beakers in chemistry. Like you’re surprised. But this I can’t even comprehend how and I can’t even possibly think of a why. All I can say is Ew and glad it’s not me.

Did I miss anything else in 2011 that caught your eye? I’m positive there’s a story out there of  a 3-legged mangey dog that made friends with an ostrich and an abandoned 7 year-old who surfed to Australia in shark infested waters. You just can’t make this stuff up.

Years ago the exchange of the Christmas goodie plate with friends and neighbors was huge, but that seems to have cooled down a bit as folks forget how to cook or choose to poison those they don’t like under the guise of goodwill and loving their neighbor. Bah humbug to that, I say!

Once upon a time one of our friends (who was an only child) blurted out as she visited our house, “Ya’lls house smells like the Waltons.” Uh… thank you? What does that mean? She replied, “Something’s always baking.” Ah. That’s a good thing.

The usual suspects of the holiday baking includes:

sugar cookies
fudge
divinity
banana bread
zucchini bread
cream cheese chocolate chip brownies
butterscotch brownies

The level of enjoyment of holiday baking among my siblings varies, as do our areas of expertise. So ya, I suppose our house did smell like the Walton’s… or a Keebler elf tree.

Every so often, someone in the family tries a new holiday baking or candy item and this year, I got a wild hair up my butt and decided that I wanted to learn how to make caramels. I’ve only rarely ventured into the candy-making sides of the kitchen because you can burn things so easily and the smell of burned sugar or chocolate makes me gag. Seriously. But knowing full well that caramels are basically boiled sugar, I forged ahead, scoured the best caramel recipes and bought this candy thermometer:

Don’t let this item frighten you… it’s not an enema. Just hook it to the side of your bowl and watch it. Oh… and then clean it. Immediately. You don’t want it to always be sticky.

Let’s get to the good stuff:

2 C sugar
1 C firmly packed brown sugar
1 C butter
1 C milk
1 C cream
1 C light corn syrup
1 tsp vanilla

Butter a 13×9-inch pan. REALLY butter this. You’ll thank me later.

Combine all ingredients EXCEPT vanilla in a HUGE saucepan (use the pan you would make soup or a cooked holiday beverage for a large gathering a people. The ingredients will grow and remember: burned sugar is NOT the goal so use the biggest saucepan you’ve got.

Cook over medium heat, stirring occasionally, until butter is melted and mixture comes to a boil.

This will take about 15-20 and you will grow antsy because your thermometer will hover around 210 degrees. Don’t give up! The mixture will start to thicken and boil more rapidly. Keep stirring (don’t let it burn) and when it reaches 250, remove the pot from the heat.

Stir in the vanilla. SPOILER ALERT: this will cause a chemical reaction and there will be a hissing sound and an immediate growth “pop” of the liquid. Be careful none of the syrup gets on you.

Pour the mixture into your very-well buttered pan and let it cool completely (about 2 hours).

Cut into squares or rectangles or your desired shape. This is why the pan needs to be deeply buttered… getting the cut caramel out of the pan is tricky at first and several may be slightly mangled.

I like to dip mine in chocolate bark because, well, caramel and chocolate just go together.

You’re supposed to wrap the finished product in wax paper but Target only had parchment paper and that’s not the same thing.

Ta-dah!

You know what else is a little sticky and a little sweet? Uh… that would be yours truly. I’ve been feeling incredibly empowered lately (huh) and since I decided to do a little switch-a-roo with the holiday treats this year, I decided it was time to do a little switch-a-roo on me.

Was it to raise my IQ a few points? How about just because it’s winter? Or maybe I wanted to startled a few people? I suppose it’s a bit of all three. Will it stay this way? Probably not long-term but change is a good thing.

Did anyone out there ever watch I Dream of Jeannie? Well, think of that as my inspiration.

This is the naughty version of me… just in time for the holidays.

More changes ahead… stick around.

Holy Hell.

I want no part of any of that. Life is crazy enough just trying to avoid all the bad Maryland drivers. I certainly don’t need to take an elbow to the face while shopping. Doesn’t it seem more like me to walk into a tree? Because I did. Thankfully no stitches were required. But I guess you want to hear that story, don’t you?

So here I am, flanked by some of my peeps. It seems I wasn’t the only one who wanted to be out and about on Black Friday… but REALLY out and about. We decided to hike Old Rag in the Shenandoah Mountains. We definitely made the better choice.

We ate breakfast here. I guess it’s not really breakfast when you shovel beef jerky and some Nutter Butters down your throat. Not quite sure why I’m really into beef jerky these days or peanut butter cookies, for that matter, but I am. I’m also not quite sure why I went for the Pocahontas braids.

I don’t know if this staircase is man-made or not but it’s pretty damn cool.

I was shocked that there was about a 20-30 minute wait to climb this portion of the trail. Then I found out that a couple brought their newborn daughter (!) and had to pass her up via everyone waiting in line. I am not kidding. People are weird. By the time it was my turn, I was a bit anxious and got my already broken foot smashed in between a few rocks. I’m going to the doctor this week… for real this time.

Kind of a deep crevasse here. I was a bit wobbly because about 10 minutes before I took this picture I walked headfirst into a tree. Yes, you read that correctly. I recrunched my already broken left foot and then walked into a tree and knocked myself silly for a moment. Ugh. I’m surprised I don’t have a saved parking space at the doctor’s office.

This is the summit and it’s breathtaking. You can see where my hair / head got into a tangle with that tree but you can’t really see the view. Zerubbabel took this photo and kind of missed all the gorgeous background. I’ve already lost you and not one of you now gives a crap about the view you’re not seeing because you’re stuck on the fact that I have a friend named Zerubbabel. We call him Z for short. Or, if we’re feeling Canadian, Zed.

But the best news of all… I checked the mail when I got home from the hike and found this little gem in my box. I am so very happy! I would not make an attractive bald woman.

I knew Fall would be an atrocious schedule but I forged ahead. I lost a few pounds (probably due to the races rather than me changing my dietary habits), shut my leg in a car door (I’m still sporting a bruise), and had another mammogram (super fun way to spend a Friday afternoon). Too much information? Not enough, I say. Here’s the good stuff:

Former USDOT Secretary Norman Mineta

Whenever he calls me I have to resist the urge to drop the phone in my lap out of pure shock. The man has an airport named after him!

Happy Birthday, Norm!

Did you know he just turned 80? He did. We threw him a party. With cake. It was good.

Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel

My encounter with Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel was quite possibly one of the most bizarre moments of my life: Photo shoot / meet-and-greet in a Chicago hotel kitchen. Make a wrong move and his beefy security guard would squash you with his thumb. I think Rahm is sexy. I’m pretty sure it’s a power thing but I maybe I’m just be really lonely.

Occupy DC

Occupy DC 2

Like any of you are surprised I dropped in on the people of the Occupy DC movement. Of course I’ve hung out with them and interviewed a handful of occupiers. I believe in their cause. Not enough to join them because, well, it’s almost winter and it’s DC and I’m not a big camping fan (especially when I’ve got a perfectly delightful and warm apartment a few miles away).

Hotel View

I went on a business trip to Orlando and that’s all it was. I spent three days inside a hotel when I really wanted to be at Disney World. SIGH. I just noticed the photo I took of the hotel grounds resembles a happy face.

Hugh Jackman is Back on Broadway!

Don’t even pretend as though you don’t love him. Women swoon over Hugh Jackman because, well, have you seen him? He can sing, he can act, he can dance and he’s a hottie. And regular ole Joe’s love Hugh Jackman because, well, he’s Wolverine. The best hours of my life this year were spent drooling over that man two weekends ago. Is it sad I’m not kidding about that?

9/11 Memorial, Ground Zero

I made time to visit the 9/11 Memorial on my recent trip to New York City. It was a bitterly cold night but a definite must-see.

Hi. I'm in Delaware.

Not really IN Delaware… but this was the point where Gen. Washington crossed the Delaware River on December 25, 1776, from Pennsylvania into New Jersey. That’s right… I spent some quality time in New Jersey a few weeks ago and I liked it. I learned how to make homemade noodles and that made the entire trip worth it. Yes, I said noodles. Guess what the family is having for Christmas Eve dinner this year? I know you’re jealous.

So now you’re caught up. The festivities and adventures kick into high gear over the next few days and hopefully (hopefully) I won’t take such a long writing sabbatical. This going to bed thing at 9 pm due to exhaustion just makes me sad.

These days this Oscar-nominated actor (huh… I would have NEVER thought he would become a legit actor but I am often wrong) keeps his pants on. Of course he does. He has children. He also just opened a restaurant and walking around pantless might not look too good to the health inspectors.

Mark’s pant-dropping led to my favorite fad of all time: sagging. So tacky. Plus: how do you boys walk with your pants belted around your thighs without falling over? And by the way… you look ridiculous. I’m not just saying that because I didn’t think of it first. You really do look ridiculous. People are laughing at you.

Now times are a wee bit different and yet, I am still confused. I love clothes. I love shopping for them. I love dressing up and doing the whole mix ‘n match thing each morning (except when I’m really tired and then I pick items that don’t require any ironing). I don’t have unlimited funds but I do know how to find deals. I make it work.

And yet we have Christina Aguilera, songstress extraordinaire, who does indeed have unlimited funds and yet can’t make it work. She hires people to dress her but for some reason she is refusing to wear pants in public. What is up with that?

Newly-divorced and on a date, Aguilera opted for no make up, no pants and a baggy shirt I wore to a pool party once in the 8th grade. Even her date seems a little shame-faced. I have no problem with the no make-up look but the no pants look is, well, ew.

Here she is underwear shopping while wearing underwear. At least she’s ahead of a few other starlets in that department.

Woof. I’m not even sure what to say here except, well, woof. And if she can afford to wear Christian Louboutin shoes, she can afford a pair of pants.

Her hair is combed and styled and she only partially looks like a hooker. Her “panty hose” are KIND OF fashion-forward (and sparkly!) which makes me think she hasn’t completely lost her mind… but the jury is still out on that one.

And FYI: Leggings are NOT pants. I repeat: Leggings are NOT pants.

I rarely discuss pop culture to this extent but seriously… she’s not wearing pants and people seems to shrug their shoulders and say, “Meh.” If I showed up to work without pants my boss, after having a stroke, would die of a heart attack.

Then again, I’m not wearing pants today. In fact, I haven’t worn pants all week. Maybe Christina is on to something.

Last night, in one of those moments of clarity between hazy dreams, I thought of determination and how it is accompanied (at least in my life) by support, encouragement, and loyalty. Rather than share with you a play-by-play of my experience last weekend, I would like to express gratitude for friends and family who never stopped believing in me.

Let me tell you a story. Earlier this year I received a series of text messages from good friend and old roommate, Natalie. We’ve been through so much BS since 1996 that we are kindred spirits. She is an amazing woman and I suggest you learn more about her… because I said so and because she is just that awesome.

Natalie started her running career before me and over the past few years, we’ve had many long discussions about races and pushing ourselves to be better people. Natalie is a seasoned marathoner with four under her belt; I’ve run a triathlon, a half-marathon and three mud-obstacle courses. She seemed eager for me to join her on October 20, 2011 in the Marine Corps Marathon. I wasn’t so sure it was a good idea.

I wanted to die after my triathlon last year and said, “I will NEVER run a marathon. Only crazy people do those.” Well… I guess you know who’s crazy. You’ve been reading this long enough to know that I am indeed certifiable and I’m OK with that.

We registered for the race in February but I didn’t start training until late June and every Saturday since then has been spent running along the banks of the Potomac River. My training has been exacerbated by a stress fracture in my left foot (compliments of an ill-timed rebound in basketball last season) and pinched hip flexers. The day I was scheduled to run 16 miles ended at Mile 14.5 with me hysterically sobbing along the GW trail, barely walking and making quite the scene. Park police wanted to call EMTs and rush me to the hospital; I convinced them to call me a cab instead. I didn’t think I could move forward after that and the terror hibernated in my gut.

Natalie and I emailed and texted about our progress and I was terrified that she would leave me in the dust; given my high rate of self-injury, I knew I couldn’t do this alone. Natalie flew in the day before the race in the middle of a freak October snowstorm. We were both nervous and a bit tense but quickly fell into a comfortable step and never stopped talking. How could I have doubted her loyalty and promise to stay with me throughout the course? We got separated at the beginning but met up in the early stages of the race and from there, she never left my side.

I think this was Mile 16... our second pass of the Lincoln

Still moving along

I hit The Wall at Mile 19 and by this point, my body really started to hate me. Everything that had gone wrong over the course of my training started to creep up; I felt my body screaming and I started to respond. Natalie could tell I was sinking and constantly encouraged me, telling me how proud she was of me and that I was stronger than I thought. It’s amazing how praise changes your attitude when you are so low. I kept putting one foot in front of the other because she was beside me and finishing was the only option.

I could FEEL how much my body hated me at Mile 19.

By Mile 21, both Natalie and I started feeling the effects of the stress fractures in our feet. We stopped speaking due to sheer exhaustion, pain and dehydration. My run moved to a shuffle and I became irritable toward other runners. We both began to snarl at the people along the route who encouraged us with the phrase, “You’re almost done!” At Mile 23, you don’t feel almost done; you feel like you’ve got an eternity to go.

Mile 25 was at the Pentagon parking lot and from there, I could see the Finish Line at the Iwo Jima Memorial. Big surprise: I started to cry. Natalie never took her eyes off the road but as she looked forward she firmly told me: “You are not allowed to cry right now. When you cross that Finish Line, THEN you’ve earned it but right now you’ve got to get it together and run.”

TRIUMPH

When someone who knows you so well tells you to stop crying and get it together, it’s amazing how much power they hold. I pushed myself but Natalie was the support that got me through.

This week my thoughts have revolved around friends and how each one plays a role in my life, filling in needs I didn’t know I had. Some are married while others are single; I’ve known many for 15+ years while some are relatively knew; Some are former co-workers; a handful are from high school; a few are people I eat with; and of course there is everyone at the gym. Among them political attitudes are far from mine–as well as social behaviors–but all are funny, well-informed, and they love me.

Interesting thing this whole bit about love. It finally dawned on me that I am never alone, despite my sometimes feelings of emptiness and loneliness. I have chosen well because I know my friends love me.

I would also like to point out that my father and his twin followed my training with great care and concern and flew out to be there for me. Do you know what it’s like to have people care so deeply for you that they will fly across the country simply to watch you run past them? My family loves me.

Dad gave me Gummy Bears at Mile 10

Thumbs Up!

The non-sweaty versions of me and Natalie

This life is my consolation prize for the life I’m not going to get and let’s be honest… it’s not that bad of a life. In fact, it’s a pretty good one. I am making the most of what I have been given and it is filled with the world’s most amazing friends (Natalie: I’m talking about you!) and a family who will do whatever it takes to express their love. As for myself: I’ve got 26.2 under my belt and no one can take that away from me.

OORAH!

Empire Strikes Back is one fantastic movie and dogs are the best. But do I love them together?